2021- Refection

2021 Revealed, Restored, Fulfilled Growth

January, you were my toughest yet, for I had to face loss, indescribably heartcrushing, but, God, My Comforter of all my seasons, came along every tear-spilled, pillow-filled, cry....He lifted my eyes up. I learned 1 second, 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 step at a time- I was loved, even though my heart was in millions of pieces...He helped me collect each one, I walked that dark place, but just a moment- then the light overcame it all.

February- You like January were tough, My hubby had diagnosis that once more stopped our steps, we only could pause, sit with the waiting, and then gain the next treatments, surgery, and many follow- up appointments...

I was still walking post partum emotions, toughest to explain when so many silence loss, babies in the womb are babies, we learn of the death and expected in society to swing back and just keep moving- well, I did not, I kept my heel planted, because I know mental health, is vital, you do not block pain away- you look it in the eye...you look up, you seek the only One who knows you. Please, if you ever lose and have grief- do not think that it is a quick fix- you will walk, live, and carry it...it means you loved, you were true and treasured that moment...grief is always said to be depression- well, not always, I see it as real life dealings- cry, reflect, but do not silence it.

March- You were bringing new life hope into our home, healing, restoring, health related scare, hospital stay, but see, the prior months journey was saddled up for you...Christ was greater than the fear, unknowns, and it was refreshing to embrace...Celebration of marriage, life, and figuring it out.

April- You provided needed healing waters, a moment to take in tears, accomplishment, goals, and clarity. You made the prior months okay to fathom, to hold tighter, to focus more, Christ was doing what He does best- working in the details.

May- Oh sweet May, you came to bring joy, birthdays, family trip, pre senior memories, togetherness, hope, possibilities, and new horizons.

June- You revealed much, places of work, co-workers, life, release, growth, new beginning. Warmth, fresh vegetables, new things, hope once more doing it's growing.

July- Phases, beginnings, accomplishment in healing, new thoughts, passion, since of being, happiness, quiet time. Possibilities once more...new adventure, new homestead transition...New sights, smells, rest.

August- Appreciation, Thankfulness, Virus- C19, quarantine, separation, masks, prayers, unknowns, healing, uncertainty, restoring slowly, grasping you control once more. New school year, Senior memories, heart twinges, smiles, graciousness, hope once more.

September- Fall temperature, new sights, new experience, reflection, studies, books, research, learning, teaching, holding on to let go, pondering, how much is faith forward look and can I hold it to the very reality- it's You Lord coming through or I fall. Realization, Your already there. Hope...tears, unknowns, growth...18...young man, college plans, prayers, tears, help me Lord. Holy Spirit came once more- Hope rekindling.

October- Uncertainty, possibilities, changes, health scare, biopsy, diagnosis, results- Tear filled, glory thanksgiving, praise and more direct on the Focus of you. College visit, student adventure, studies, research projects, words, tears, how can I do this...Really! Changes, so many....pause, set, Did I do that- control- yes, but it will only last a brief season.

November- Restoration, emotions, unknowns, uncertainty, change- well- maybe, no, yes. Keep that step, visits, family, College prep talks, expenses, worn, heart heavy, what do I do? What- where in the world did that come! Exits, plans, unknowns, mind- reset. Thanksgiving, simple, accomplishment, wait.

December- Finally, fruition, hope being planted, new semester, books, college goals, release, break, work, Christmas Break, food, family, fellowship, reflection, calm, sleep, crafts turning into new therapeutic hope, lifestyle, unknowns, wait, really! This is us- together, wait for it, remembrance, expression, joy, tears, repeat... Life, real, human, I am here! I need to shine- I need to stop limiting Christ in His plans for me- uncomfortable, growth, don't turn back, release, breathe, Your in Faith- Filled mode....Pause, Reflect, Grieve, Rejoice, laugh, live- Keep It Simple!

New Year Horizon- Mode of many paths, Creation, healing, learning, growing, expanding, loving, living, Keeping the focus, projects, semester, senior year- goals, Where you Lead I follow, Step out of the boat, look to me- I hold the next breath, Beat, Thoughts, I am in your hands- family first, get to the reality of living, simple is simple...live Simply so others can simply live...Keep it Simple- Amen.